Not all winners hold a trophy

I’ve been fascinated with the world of bodybuilding since 2012. I kept on seeing girls on Instagram and would think wow!!! I’d love to look like that. I took the plunge in 2013 and competed twice and then again in 2014. My prep in 2014 was brutal I weight trained for 90 minutes 6 times a week, completed 30 minutes power walks at midday and on an evening would then pedal for 75 minutes on my spin bike. Come show day I was whacked. Not just physically but mentally too. I’d put so much pressure on myself for this show and felt so disheartened when I didn’t place.  So in 2015 I made the decision not to compete and spend time loving myself again and rebuilding my relationship with food. Bodybuilding is as much a sport of the mind than it is of the body. Some days you’ll love yourself and others you’ll cry as you think you resemble a whale. I also become a binger. Every night after finishing work I’d retreat to our treat cupboard and gorge on chocolate. I was on the verge of an eating disorder. I had to take control before it controlled me.

BNBF July 2013
BNBF July 2013
Miami Pro November 2013
UKBFF June 2014

So here we are in 2017. I’m 16 months post baby and I’ve just started to prep for my 2nd show of the season. My first prep of the season has been a good one. No silly cardio sessions. I lifted heavy weights 5 times a week and at the most I completed 30 minute cardio sessions 4 times a week. The reason I’ve come back to the sport is I love the discipline. I  love seeing the body change. I love the new friendships you make and I love the inner strength you build. Also the biggest reason is I fell out of love with my body. All woman have a negative relationship with their body post baby, its natural but it actually left me depressed. To the point where my effort in dressing nice wasn’t even there. I was hiding in gym leggings and hoodies and catapulting myself into jeans that were way too tight as I couldn’t admit that I needed a bigger size. I didn’t realise how unhappy I was until my husband posted a photo of me on his Instagram in July 2016 and I looked and thought who is she? I felt sad as I realised I no longer loved myself. So I thought enough is enough and I began tracking my food and training hard. Then in October 2016 I contacted my friend Tom. I approached him to coach me. My goal was to enter a power lifting meet and then compete as a bikini competitor in May 2017. We started this journey at at a pleasantly plump 70 kgs. Today I weigh 60 kgs. On show day I was a petite 57 kgs.

July 2016
July 2016

Prepping for a competition is hard and when you throw in having a part time job with responsibility and a husband who works away for 3 weeks at a time leaving me to fly solo looking after our two sons (7 years old and 16 months old). Sometimes yeah it is a juggling act but somehow I manage to juggle all them balls quite well. I prep my food in advance on my days off. Cardio is done either with the baby in his pram or 8 at night when the boys are in bed. Luckily the gym I train at is just around the corner from my office so I get there on my lunch break and my mother in law is an angel and helps me out a lot. At times I get tired and cranky (the baby still co sleeps with me) and want to reach for the chocolate so bad but I just think of the bigger picture and how I feel when I step onto the stage. I need to know I gave it my all. Even though I’m shaking like a leaf I love my time on stage. It gives you such a rush. However the week post show is quite blue. You feel kinda lost and under whelmed. You’ve spent months preparing physically and mental for an event and within hours its over. In the past I’ve post show binged and my weight has ballooned but I’m proud to report I’m no longer a post show binger. Yes I had a week from tracking. My coach advised I mentally needed to take a break.

Sadly I didn’t place at my show. The feedback I was given was to tighten up my lower body and add a little more size on my shoulders.  Thing is walking off that stage knowing I didn’t place didn’t make me feel sad. I was actually floating on cloud 9. The pride I was feeling was unbelievable!!! I did it!!

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PCA May 2017
Photo 29-06-2017, 15 40 51
That cheek hurting smile

I’m now 12 weeks away from competing again and so psyched. I’ve never started prepping for a show before and actually loving the way I look before cutting. These days I’d say I’m a dress size 9…………….so a size 10 is too big but a size 8 is a hit or miss if it’ll fit. I’m weight training 5 times a week with 2 cardio sessions. I’m in a happy place and excited to see what package I’ll bring to the stage. None of this would be possible without the love and support from my friends and family. My biggest supporter is my husband who encourages me to shine and be a better person. I’m proud that I’ve overcome my demons and  that I love my body again. I’m a winner!

Like I say not all winners hold a trophy!

xxx

 

 

Woah we’re going to Cyprus……..woah back to the Island

Last week we flew out to the beautiful island of Cyprus. Luckily you can fly direct from Newcastle so it was only the 5 hour flight to battle. Ezra was actually a dream, yes he did enjoy getting up and wanting a wander but there was no tantrums or screaming battles. Elijah is always a joy to travel with well when he’s not asking if we’re there yet every 5 minutes. The transfer from Paphos airport to Coral Bay took about 40 minutes.

 

We decided to rent a villa so no check in queues for us. A villa is ideal when travelling with the little ones. Home from home. Villa Sulis  was ideal, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a private pool. Emma who co owns the villa was so helpful and only a text away with any issues we had. Our street was pretty quiet. Location was great as it was only a 5 minute stroll to the local bars and restaurants and another 5 minutes to the well stocked supermarket. They advertise it as a 10 minute walk to the beach but they’ve never had to drag and motivate a lazy 7 year old. Yeah he’s got little legs but I’ve seen a snail with more speed.

 

Food

After our hectic first dinner out we decided to eat at our villa most nights. Ezra’s at the age where he constantly has ants in his pants so eating out with him is not a relaxing affair. The local supermarket had a fishmonger and butcher so we enjoyed steak, salmon, king prawns with fresh salads. I love cooking and I was two weeks post show so it was easier to make heathy choices and not have a blow out.

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We did find a gem of a restaurant on the coast road. It was called Oniro By The Sea. The food was delicious and o m geeee the mango frozen daiquiri was just what I needed so sweet and refreshing. I had the home made Angus steak burger, I enjoyed it so much I inhaled another on our last day. Yep total burger gains. In round 2 of Angela vs Burger I didn’t eat all my wedges so I had room for the mango and passion fruit cheesecake. I’m not usually a cheese cake gal but it was the presentation that made me want to eat it. It did not disappoint and not ashamed to say that I didn’t offer to share it with my children. The vibe at this place was so relaxing and the staff were so hipster and chilled. I’d highly recommend a visit here even if its just for a cocktail and to take in the view.

 

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Family time

We spent our mornings by the pool……………actually we spent our mornings telling Elijah to stop doing cannonballs into the pool and just practice his swimming while Ezra spent his morning throwing everything in sight into the pool. After lunch we’d either pop out to the beach, go for a stroll or a little drive in the car. Late afternoon would be gin o clock then dinner on the terrace. Most nights we’d just lie around and watch movies. Back in the day I’d be on the ouzo until the early hours but hangovers in the heat with children do not mix.

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Kitten watching cuddles

 

 

Fitness

I did make it to a local gym 4 times during our visit. Jeeeez it was hard work training in the heat. The post work out pump though was insane. I was a she hulk. I can confirm that I don’t miss commercial gyms at all. Guys using the tampon cushion while lunging, bitch mitts everywhere, the bloke with the flips flops and the tool wearing sunglasses. Yeah you might be thinking that it was my holiday and I should have rested and enjoyed some time off but training is my therapy. It relaxes me and steps me up for the day.

Fashion

I actually packed light well lightish. This season I’ve been obsessed with Zara. They just nail all the trends and its so affordable too and good quality. My favourite buys are my wrap dress and ribbed jumpsuit. My go to footwear were my Sophia Webster slides. These are last season so no link gusy. We had planned on evening meals on the strip so I did plan lots of other pretty outfits but due to Ezra being a tornado most meals were spent in my trusty shorts and cover up.

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Closing thoughts

We’d definitely make another trip to Coral Bay one day. It such a lovely resort. The coastline is rich with coves and pretty little beaches. The weather was absolutely beautiful but I couldn’t see us visiting in July or August it’d just be way too hot. This place is well suited for families or even couples. Our next planned family trip is Thailand in December. Not like I’m counting down the weeks or anything

Just a couple more snaps to bore you with xxx

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Paphos Zoo
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Too cute not to share
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My big boy is so handsome

 

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Never stops smiling
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Still likes a photo with his Mammy

 

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

After months of contemplating here I am starting my own blog. I’ve been told by a couple of friends now that I should start one up. I don’t really think I’m that interesting but they seem to think so. So what’s my blog about…………….basically being Angela. I’ll be posting about what fashion items I’ve recently bought or my what I have my sights on. How my journey to the stage is going. Have my children turned me grey yet. What foods am I dreaming off. My travels of 2017. I love a good holiday.

I’m sat here pretty nervous as I don’t even know where to begin. Also will people find me interesting and will anyone actually read this. Are blogs like modern age diaries? I had a diary as a child, I cringe at the things I would write in it. How its was nice to be young and carefree. My biggest worry was would I be able to afford the new Morgan skirt I’ve set my eye on. Now I worry about  the baby waking up to the night and poohs that take 20 baby wipes to clean up and how my eldest watched a you tube video then showed me how he learnt how to tea bag??? like wtf. He kept on squatting down and shouting tea bag tea bag. Are you meant to laugh, encourage or discipline in these situations. Was he meaning the tea bag I’m thinking of or is this a new dance move like the dab??! for the record he was watching home made lego movies. I’ll have to ask him tonight what he was referring to. Mornings are way too stressful and manic in my house for those kinds of conversations.